Good Golly Miss Rachel, can’t believe you’re 21!

Well, the party’s flying,
Everybody is doing fine,
Auntie Brenda’s trying
To finish off all the wine.
The Tia Maria, I fear,
Is being sunk by Auntie Mon,
I said Good Golly Miss Rachel,
I can’t believe you’re twenty one.

I remember the time you wouldn’t eat your meals,
Stubborn as hell, you would dig in your heels,
Sitting at the table with your beef bourgignon,
Wishing you weren’t seven but twenty one.

Well, Emmet’s been drinking
And he’s come out in a rash.
Have you seen him slinking
Off to John’s private stash?
And it’s clear the beer
Is disappearing fast on John.
I said Good Golly Miss Rachel,
I can’t believe you’re twenty one.

I remember the time when you jumped for gold,
Olympic gold medal at eight years old.
Though you weren’t too hot in the mara-thon,
You can run much faster now you’re twenty one.

Well, Lily is bopping,
She’s getting into the groove.
There ain’t no stopping
Her, watch that young wan move.
Your mamma says Obama’s
Phoned in from the Pentagon,
Saying Good Golly Miss Rachel,
I can’t believe you’re twenty one.

I remember the times down in Cahirciveen,
“500 miles” and “Come on Eileen,”
Singing so loud till your voice was gone,
We don’t hear you singing now you’re twenty one.

And Kate’s sedate,
But she’s looking on all perplexed.
And your mum says “Kate,
It’s gonna be your turn next.”
And your bruv says “Love,
I feel old and woebegone,
But Good Golly Miss Rachel,
I can’t believe you’re twenty one.”

I remember the times down in Sligo when
We’d play silly games with paper and pen.
Happy little duckling tuned into a swan,
It’s hard to imagine that your twenty one
I said I can’t quite believe that you are twenty one,
Happy birthday Rachel now you’re
Twen-
Ty
One.