Happy Birthday, Emmet [sorry, I meant Kate]

Happy birthday Emmet –
Oops! Sorry, I meant Kate,
I can’t believe that you are five
Or six, or seven, or eight.
I hope this Hallowe’en is filled
With lots and lots of joy,
It doesn’t seem that long since you
Were just a little boy.

Do not try to stay awake
Cos Santa’s always quiet.
[Besides you’re bound to fall asleep
If ever you should try it.]
I hope that you get lots of eggs,
A Crunchie, Mars and Snickers
But when you get up in the morning
Don’t forget your knickers.

I hope your friends in playschool
Will help you celebrate
The fact that you are four or five
Or six or seven or eight.
Perhaps you’ll wear your swimsuit and
Your brand new Easter bonnet,
And eat your lovely birthday cake
With fifteen candles on it.

And so today is special,
It will never be the same.
Oh, by the way, you never told us
What’s your husband’s name?
Your wedding dress is beautiful
So don’t forget to smile,
When you get the ring and you
Are walking down the aisle.

I know that you like Thunderbirds
And Go, Go, Power Rangers.
Don’t wipe your nose upon your sleeve
And never talk to strangers.
And, if you want to come around,
I’ll fix you up a bed.
It’s in a very special place-
You’ve guessed it! In the shed!

Oh, the fourteenth of December
Is a very important date,
Cos that is Emmet’s birthday,
Oops! I’m sorry, I meant Kate.
So everybody raise a glass
And give a hearty cheer,
And wish that Kate is going to have
A marvellous New Year.