Torment

I trapped you in the bus doors in Belgium,
And left you on the platform in Italy.
You said I was cruel,
When you fell in the pool,
And boy, you complained very bitterly.

I dragged you down a ledge of the Ebenalp,
And the Lake District hills had you terrified.
And the Vilnius freeze
Was minus twenty degrees,
As the photographs tangibly verified.

Yes, all around Europe I’ve tortured you.
And you say that I couldn’t be horrider.
But that’s a mere fraction,
Just watch me in action,
Next year when we head off to Florida.

But although I have dragged you incessantly,
And despite all the cash we’ve been squandering,
I’m glad that you’re there
When we jet off somewhere
To share in my penchant for wandering.